Matthew 6:34

"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. " Matthew 6:34

I tend to worry. About what? you may ask. Well pretty much anything. I think I get it from my dad. He's a big worry wart (where did that saying come from anyway? it's kinda gross). So now I'm worried about grades, getting projects and papers done on time. Making sure grades get to where they need to be to insure I will be here another year. Worrying about getting enough money raise so I can go on an amazing mission trip to Kenya this summer. Trying to decide how much I can actually work with all the other activities I want to help with and if I should work more and get more money than help out with the other things. Worry worry worry. And about what? Myself. I am such a truly selfish person. I'm so worried about this summer and next year, but it all has to do with me. My needs, my money, my future, MY plans. I have a hard time stopping and asking God His thoughts first. Praying about jobs or trips or camps before jumping in head first.

I get Bible verses sent to my e-mail everyday from Air1.com (Christian radio station based out of Seattle, WA) and the verse from Matthew was in my inbox this morning, just waiting for me to open it. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries". I love a verse a few lines up from this one, Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" He asks a legit question here. "Are you not much more valuable than they?" And we are. We don't deserve to be, but God holds us to a higher standard.

Worrying gets me no where and can, in most cases, make things worse. But it is so hard just to give it all to God and be like, "Here ya go! Let me know when You get things figured out." I want to fix things myself. So I worry about how that can be done. God can do it. He can fix it. And from what I gather, He's pretty good at it too. Giving it up and releasing it to Him sounds impossible to me right now. But to quote a movie I saw way to much of in high school staring Whitney Houston and Brandy, "impossible things are happening everyday". So where do I start? Saying you'll give all your worries to God and actually doing it are two totally different things. I really have nothing to lose, except maybe a few worry lines.

my light

Have you ever noticed that flowers go toward the sun? You know bend, twist, and turn to reach the source of its happiness. Well I assume sun makes flowers happy, they don't readily bloom in the darkness. And not only flowers, but trees, birds, bees, all living things are affected by the light.

We need to be like flowers. I need to be like the tulips on my window sill, reaching and bending to the source of my happiness. Physically moving myself, my whole self to face the source of my light, my God.

I so often like to hide in the dark. Darkness offers cover. It can hide all of your flaws, making everything equal, everything the same in the blackness. It gives the illusion of making things beautiful. Think of a city. During the day there is nothing special about it. Buildings cramped up next to each other, the same color palate moving through out the city. But then night falls and things change. What was once a boring, Plain Jane city as turned into a shinning star. Lights from in and outside of the buildings illuminate the windows making each one a unique little star. The lights mixing with the darkness cover the blemishes of the city and highlight it's strengths. And then the morning comes and erases all the images you thought you had of the city. Showing you all the ugly and unsightly parts you tried to forget in midst of the dark.

But the light...oh the light bring life with it. Nothing good or worth while prospers in the night. Light shows us who we really are, it shows us who we can be all the time with out the illusion of the darkness.

So my goal this week is to be the light. To shine so brightly that the world has no choice but to look. I'll need a little help to keep it bright, but the more of us that shine together the brighter and more brilliant our light becomes.

name change

I've been thinking about this for a while and I've come to the decision that.......(drum roll)........ I'm changing the name of my blog. I've never really liked the name, the first or the second one and I'm ready to make the change.

The first, "no time to close my eyes" was a reference to the fact that I couldn't sleep last semester (and maybe a slight reference to twilight, but that's beside the point) and then "blueberry pop-tarts" comes from the simple fact that I LOVE blueberry pop-tarts. But I have a feeling this is just another craze. One of those things where I get a craving for something, eat it/read it/watch it/etc. to the point where I question the reason for my cravings. Both titles represent passing fads in my life. And yes, this is just a blog but I want to accurately represent myself here. Thus, the need for a name change.

So, what's the new name? you ask. "starlight, starr bright" catch, huh?! I really like this new one. I hope you will too and if ya want, I can explain the reason for it but I'd rather have you guess. Hope you like it!

slow day at work will do this to ya

So I'm bored at work and don't want to do anything that needs to be done. Time for a fun blog! I stole something from facebook (yes, I'm an avid facebooker) so here is something to get to know me a bit better.

It's the I-Pod shuffle! (But I don't have an I-Pod so my mp3 player will have to do)

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY,” YOU SAY?
Without Expression-John Mellencamp

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCIRBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Leap of Faith-Sanctus Real (true that!)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Crumblin' Down-John Mellencamp

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Addicted-Simple Plan

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Small Town-John Mellencamp

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
One Step Up-Kenny Chesney

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Decode-Paramore (Twilight soundtrack)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Jesus Hurry-Rush of Fools (hhmmm, I didn't think that until now)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Munchkinland Musical-Wizard of Oz (wow, now that's funny)

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
If I Fell-Evan Rachel Wood (Across The Universe Soundtrack)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Line of Fire-Journey

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE?
Stay Awhile-Journey

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Friend Like That-Hawk Nelson

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
One Short Day-Wicked (guess I'm not going to make it long)

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LOVE?
Giving You All Control-Jeremy Camp

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Innocent-Stellar Kart (hhhmmmm)

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
What's This- Jack Skellington (Nightmare Before Christmas)

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Island-Mainstay

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
How Sweet It Is- Michael Buble

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Remember-Kenny Chesney

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Everything Glorious-David Crowder Band

22. WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Go Square Go- Glasvegas

23. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Polmont On My Mind-Glasvegas

24. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
My Fortress- Jeremy Camp

25. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Two Ways Out-Darker My Love

26. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
This is Halloween- Citizens of Halloween Town (Nightmare B4 X-mas)

27. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
A Sentimental Man- Wicked (but I won't)

I'm thinking my player doesn't shuffle well.

the gift i've been given

So with Valentine's Day in the not so distance past, my head is still realing with different things I have learned about love and being single.

First off, yesterday was amazing (well the later part). I had an amazing night hanging out with some girlfriends, eating chocolate fondue and watching a movie. It was just a great night to hang out and be girly. Not looking at the fact that I'm single with not immediate prospects of a relationship, but I'll talk about that later.

Then there was church this morning. I went with some of the girls I was with last night. The sermon today (tho not planed that way) was on being single. The pastor talked about how being single is a gift from God, yeah a gift not a curse! How those of us who are single can be used to the fullest by God to do His work fully, without the worries of the world weighing down our heads and our hearts. I love that idea. I rarely think of my singleness as a gift or as anything positive for that mater. In this society it is often perceived that a woman's value is hinged on whether or not she has a man. I have often felt a tinge of jealousy when I see my couple friends together and then when all the couples I knew of were getting engaged, let me tell you I had to take a step back to take a good look at my life. Except I was seeing it through tinted glasses. I was comparing my life to theirs. Judging the value of my accomplishments to that of those around me. And finding I've come up short.

Am I dumb or what?! For goodness sake, I can't compare myself to them! I can not base my personal value on those around me. And that's what I've come to except, though I am not fully there yet, I falter now and then but who doesn't? I am a gift from God and my boyfriend status, or lack there of, is also a gift. I believe that God knows what He's doing and I should just roll with it cause anything I try to do on my own just won't cut it. So I'm coming to the conclusion that, while I feel in my heart God has someone for me, He must have something He wants me to do before I walk down the aisle. My heart should be filled with God before anything else can find a position in it.

So what am I going to do with this new found knowledge? I hope to make a change in my outlook. So that next time I see a friend flash the engagement ring my way I will be full of happiness, not only for her but for me and the fact I can run to South America and do a mission trip on a whim without checking with my significant other first. Ok, so I doubt that will happen, but I have that freedom, she on the other hand does not. I will look to God to fill my heart and not a boy or a new pair of shoes. I'll go with God's plan for my future and try not to get distracted with my own ideas and plans. He's got this in the bag, I just need to let go and dig in.