I'm currently reading the book "Here's to Hindsight" by Tara Leigh Cobble. I've had a hard time reading lately, just in one of those moods where I can't quite get into it. The story doesn't grab me or I get a chapter or two in and loose interest or find something different to read. Anyway, this is one that I've hooked onto. Partly, I think, because I have decided to start a small group/read awesome books group and this is the first book we're reading and I feel like I would be a horrible leader if I didn't read it first or at least start it.
So I've been cruising through it pretty quickly. The author is a singer/songwriter and wrote this book in a way that you would tell a friend a story. She has some quotes from songs or people she admires, pulls stories from the bible that a relevant to phases in her life and shows not only the times when her faith was strong but also those times when she wanted to call it quits.
I just read the chapter entitled 'Newfound Friends'. In this she talked about her move to Nashville and how she was able to make a smooth transition because she made connections before she got there. She found a church and a community to be involved with and jump into which allowed her to make that change from living in her hometown to moving out and away from that comfort zone. But after a few years things change. Her friends all move into different phases of their lives, getting married, jobs and co-workers, boyfriends and regular 9 to 5's where as she is still single and a touring musician. At this point in the book she is considering moving to New York City to start a new chapter, a new phase. She had brought this up in the small group she was in and a few of her friends were hurt. They felt as if she was trading them in for new and better models in NYC. Cobble explained that that was not the case at all and that they were all in different stages in their lives and that was ok but she needed to have friends and friendships that were more than just a few hours a week. They had their families and co-workers and husband/boyfriends and it wasn't right of her to ask her friends to fill that void for her.
I repeat all of this because I feel this is very relevant to where I am at right now. I feel unsettled and restless. I can feel a change in the air but I have no idea where, when or what will happen. But I can sympathize with Cobble (to a point, I mean I'm not a touring musician or anything). My friends are all moving into different stages. Getting married, having babies, moving for new jobs or starting new relationships. It's hard to find my place within all of that. And I don't feel it's right to ask my friends to drop everything and spend more time with me.
I know I'll be here until May, but after that I'm not sure. I keep feeling this draw to move out of my comfort zone and go somewhere different. I'm itching to get out of the Midwest and even though I don't think I'm qualified for any type of 'real' job I know and trust that God won't just drop me somewhere with out a little help or lead me somewhere without rhyme or reason. It'll all get figured out and looking back I'll know exactly why I am where I am right now, it's the waiting part thats bringing me down. Well, 'here's to hindsight!'
1 comment:
Amanda...tears came to my face while reading this. I know where you are. I just made that transition. Although you know there's that stirring in you, as I had, when the time comes to make that move it's not as easy as you think. You might be tempted to not go or reason your way into delaying it. Be more still then you ever have. Hear his voice and the peace he will give you when it's right.
It was a mixed feeling. We knew the doors flew right open but at the same time there was just one question I had. How could God open this door Shayla's senior year? I knew we were moving not because of the job but what he was calling us to do. I knew it had something to do with the youth. Two weeks after I moved we started helping out with the youth. The other couple that was assisting the Youth Pastors was asked to step down, and then we showed up. So why am I leaving my teenage daughter who needs her mom to go help other youth? God tell me you have a plan? LOL
Trying to fit all the pieces is hard but the peace that God loves us and wouldnt let us move if it wasnt his will. Ok, if we have a free will, did we do this on our own will? I think time will only tell.
I do know this that God had placed here before us an amazing Pastor, his wife (jut moved here 8 months before and already knew what it was like moving away from family) and many more caring friends for Steve and I. The hardest thing is in a small town and being new is that they already have their clicks and with some its hard to fit in. So I thought but, we have had an amazing response and welcoming with open arms. I love it here but hate that its 9 to 12 hrs away from family. I feel like I am on a long vacation.
My family who doesnt hear from the Lord as well (YET) doubts that this is where the Lord has moved us, we know it is! They can try to make you feel so guilty. Friends may try to pull you back home and have you question why you are away from them but listen to God more during those moments. Especially when your really feeling homesick!
So when the door opens do it! Where do you feel a drawing too? I thought for sure that God would give us our hearts desire and move us to a warmer oceanview kind of place, but NO! I'm hoping just "NOT YET"!
The book your reading sounds really good, I wish I was in the mood to do anything. I am in a funk and I am not sure. I feel torn, I love it here but want to be with my kids! Maybe guilt! God knows when I get in this place I just seek him more!!
Well, thanks for sharing this and I do pray you are so blessed where ever you go and accomplish all God has planned for you!Enjoy the journey!
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